Journey to Iconic Podcast

Healing the Inner Child: Choosing Authenticity with Venzo

• Kirsten Barfoot • Season 1 • Episode 12

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What if your healthy lifestyle wasn’t enough to keep you truly well? This was the wake-up call for our guest, Venzo.

Join us as Venzo courageously shares his transformative journey—from ignoring emotional struggles to confronting a significant core wound. His story reveals how true healing goes beyond physical discipline, emphasising the deep connection between emotions and the body.

Gain insights into the unique relationship between emotional stress and physical pain, and discover how personal triggers shape this dynamic. We explore practical techniques for identifying these stressors, moving beyond generalised interpretations to uncover deeply personal insights.

We also dive into shadow work, inner child integration, and the courage to break free from societal expectations of “good” behaviour in favour of true authenticity.

Through Venzo’s experiences and breakthrough moments, we uncover the significance of self-worth and self-acceptance. Concepts like “invisible loyalty” and “parentification” come to light, highlighting the importance of nurturing the inner child and cultivating self-awareness for personal growth.

Join us on this journey of healing and transformation, and prepare to rethink what it truly means to live authentically and with purpose.



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Speaker 1:

Welcome to the Journey to Iconic podcast, where we unlock your highest potentials through transformation and intuition. I'm your host, kirsten Barfoot, ceo of Journey to Iconic. Each week, we dive into the realms of personal growth, intuition and authentic leadership, guiding you to become the best version of yourself. Whether you're looking to enhance your personal brand, align with your true direction or tap into your inner wisdom, you're in the right place. Let's embark on this journey together and start transforming your life today. Hello, hello.

Speaker 1:

Thank you, benzo, for joining us on the Journey to Iconic podcast, where we aim to share stories of everyday people creating a big impact in the world. And something I've been following you for about I don't know about eight or ten months, something around there, and all I know is that you have left a lasting impact in my life, and I know that there are many, many others others. I've had the fortune to attend one of your workshops thank you for putting it online so that I could attend and I've got to say to our audience is that you can't meet a more compassionate, more empathetic, more open, more non-judgmental facilitator, because I think when you're delving in deeply into these subjects, people can feel like oh, you know what's safe to share what's not safe to share. But I'd just like to say that, being in your company, I felt like, oh, no, it's okay, like it's really okay. So thank you for agreeing to be here today, and thank you. Do you have anything you'd like to say?

Speaker 2:

Of course. Thank you for the beautiful words, thank you for the kind compliments, and it really means a lot and it's a pleasure and a privilege to be here with you.

Speaker 1:

Oh, thank you you, venzo. So let's get started, because I know you have quite a journey, you've had quite a journey to get to this place where we call the present moment and you speak quite openly about the lessons that you've learned, and I just wonder if you could share for our audience some of the stepping stones towards getting to where we are today.

Speaker 2:

All right, I'll start with what happened in 2017 and 2018. It was a very dark place. I wasn't feeling emotionally and mentally well and I was just ignoring it. I kept going on with life, with sports, with work, and in 2019 was when illness manifested and that's when it was the knock knock on the door. The emotions were telling me it's time to look like inwards and do the proper inner work, and that's when I started healing myself.

Speaker 2:

It first started with doctors and then I saw that it's just curing the symptoms. It's not actually curing the root cause. And that's when I went really deep and I started grieving and letting out all the emotions due to me losing dad at four and grandpa at 16. So basically, mostly it was my dad that I haven't actually sat with those emotions. It was a big traumatic event for me that I've been ignoring all my life, and that was the knock knock on the door, which was the illness telling me now it's time to really grieve, let out the tears, let out all those emotions you've been suppressing along your way. So this was one of the biggest stepping stones.

Speaker 1:

That's a seriously huge stepping stone and massive journey to come through. Tell me you say it like oh, I just knew that I had to, um, explore the emotional side of things. Um, were there signposts in your life like did? Did you have any exploration into a spiritual side or an emotional side that you knew about that? Because I don't think I knew so much about my emotional side till you know quite long.

Speaker 2:

So I just want to know if you had like any inklings before yeah good question, because I've been an athlete all my life Kirst, life, kristen and I know that my sleep was perfect, my diet was really good, my exercise, of course. I was exercising always, so I'm like there's something that doesn't fit well, like how come?

Speaker 2:

I'm not feeling well. Illness manifested in my body. I feel extremely weak. When all these I ticked the boxes, I knew I had to start doing my own research. And since 2017, when I wasn't in a very good place mentally and emotionally, that's when I started reading and doing my research. And then in 2019, I started studying.

Speaker 2:

And then in 2021, I graduated as a binary emotion practitioner from a school in Spain and I knew that it was the emotional and the mental that were causing this, which we call psychosomatic and that's when I really started properly connecting with my inner child, allowing the little me to grieve his dad, and and then slowly, slowly, I got more and more into studying and really implementing it on myself, so that in two years I healed myself holistically, because everything I was taking all the meds, all the cortisones none of that was really getting to the root cause. So that's why I went deeper really getting to the root cause.

Speaker 1:

So that's why I went deeper. Yeah, good, and so what I'm hearing is that, use the, the illness had manifested. You'd been to all of the doctors. They were looking at the symptoms. Um, it was being masked by, or maybe not even masked, but there was some, uh, I guess, prescriptions that were being offered in that direction. And yet there wasn't any real improvement. And given the fact that you would call yourself a reasonably maybe even more than averagely, healthy diet, physical exercise, discipline, all of the things, something wasn't adding up, exercise, discipline, all of the things.

Speaker 1:

Something wasn't adding up and therefore this leads to the emotion and the mental.

Speaker 2:

So how did you? It's been a perfect one.

Speaker 1:

Well, I was just listening to what you were saying and then, you know, trying to understand it for myself, because I think we do get caught up in that is that sometimes you call it the knock on the door. The universe or God, or whatever it is that people believe in, is like it's, it's like an awakening it. What got you interested in the bio-neuro emotion, or even the inner child? How did you get to that point that those were the things that you wanted to focus on?

Speaker 2:

All right, so since 2017, I started connecting with my inner child, but not very deeply, to allow him to grieve everything I've been through and the traumatic experiences. And then, when I decided to heal myself, I'm like I'm going to do this profession, and that's when I decided that binary emotion was the perfect degree to study. It was tough. It's not an easy degree that everyone can pass. There's a lot of practice, a lot of sessions that you have to do with your colleagues and other people before you actually can work in it professionally.

Speaker 2:

And I felt that it was not the traditional things that many people study. It was deeper because we connect how the emotional aspect and the social aspect we call it in regards to our interpersonal problems with people, how they can really affect our physical body in regards to recurrent physical pain or physical illness in the long term. And after I graduated, I thought to to myself how can I add what I've, what I've done on myself in regards to the inner child and the binary emotion degree? And then I created a service where I add them both, so we work on the binary emotion session with the client and then, at the last stages, I help them talk and connect with their own inner child, and that's how I became known as this inner child guy the inner child guy it's, it's, it's great.

Speaker 1:

Um. So what do you think your so when you've moved this out into the world now? So now you've, you've found this. It's a great connection. Um, how did you then start moving it out into the world? Was it was it purely um more online, or was it in person? Um, I see that you've done quite a lot of travel with the work that you're doing, so how did that all come about?

Speaker 2:

um, so I started by word of mouth and then I realized that I have and I need social media because I didn't have any accounts. I deleted my account a long time ago and I've been off of social media for five years. And then that's when it hit me that for personal use, okay, it might not be that useful, but for the business you need to have a presence might not be that useful, but for the business you need to have a presence. And in 2021, october exactly, was when I started opening my accounts. Linkedin I had it before because I used to work as a BDM in corporate businesses, so my LinkedIn was there.

Speaker 2:

But the other social media platforms I had to open. And then slowly, slowly that's how clients start coming in from my online presence. Then I said to myself we need to really build our personal brand, because it's important for people to associate my name with something. And slowly, slowly, without me realizing, because I was talking about the inner child every day for years Now, as soon as people hear the inner child, they say, oh yeah, go to Venzo. So that became my personal brand and now I'm just trying to make it so secure and solid that I can be known all over the Middle East, not just in the specific countries I used to work in.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, brilliant. Well, I'm over in Australia and I know you as the inner child guy.

Speaker 1:

So, you have come across the sea or the ocean actually. Yeah, so, so good, and and and that's the thing that that does. I think that you do very, very well. Is that articulation of how you support people? The messaging is always about the inner child, and it always comes back to that. I did see the bio-neuro emotion practitioner today. I saw that come through. It doesn't look like that's a new thing, though, but it seems like did I miss that? Or is this something that you're just starting to put out in the public?

Speaker 2:

I think I need it, and that's why I did it today to put out more about what binary emotion is and what I do as a practitioner.

Speaker 2:

Because there's one thing, kirsten, I've been talking to my friends about, that people nowadays all around the world not just in the countries I'm in is that they're really getting mixed up with what a therapist is, with what a psychiatrist is, with what a binary emotion practitioner is, with what somatic healers are and with what coaches are, and people that don't know this field think we're all the same, and that's why I need to explain more about what exactly do I do.

Speaker 2:

So mostly I work with people that have recurrent physical pain or physical illness, or I work with people that have marriage problems. So I work with couples as well, and we reach towards their inner child and how they can enhance their vulnerable inner child communication as couples. And the last thing that I work with is people in businesses, where I can help people enhance their communication skills as leaders. So these are the three services I mostly focus on, and I think it's important for us to put it out there, like I did today on LinkedIn and post, so that people can start understanding the big differences between person and what they do in this field yeah, yeah, because I saw, I saw it come up and I thought, oh, you're doing something new.

Speaker 1:

But I looked at your website and I was like no, this doesn't look like it's something new. Um, so it was good too, because that was that is the first time I've heard about it yeah thank you for educating me. My pleasure, um and so. So tell me, um, maybe so, when you say people who present with physical pain, um, can you share some examples of what they might look like, like, just in case people might be experiencing it and that you might just be the right person for them to support them through that?

Speaker 2:

All right. So one example I can give you, let's say, is people that have IBS. This is just an example. It's not a concrete example, but like the client comes in and says I have been having recurrent like how do you say it? The word is, I feel irritated and I'm not feeling very well in my stomach.

Speaker 2:

Some doctors call it IBS. Sometimes the case is not that extreme, but we go into the session finding out the emotional root cause behind that unease in the stomach and we see what was the emotional atmosphere before the illness manifested and then we see what is still in the emotional atmosphere for it to still be there, because once something like a trigger, something that is annoying you, something that's stressing you out, is not anymore in your life, we directly cancel out and say this is not the root cause behind the IBS. Of course it's a multifactorial thing. There's sleep, there's food, there's things that they need to check with their own therapists, with their doctors, but for our case, we look at the emotional aspect.

Speaker 2:

So many of these cases, what usually happens is the fear of the future and basically it's people that are very stressed out from work, that have micromanagers on top of them telling them what to do every second and they have too much deadlines. These are mostly and this is there is no like. I'm not giving an exact number because I'm not going to say something that is not right. So, basically, it's mainly those people, for instance, that have too much pressure on their shoulders and are constantly being bombarded like what are you doing? Did you finish the task?

Speaker 2:

they feel this amount of pressure that hits the stomach some other people might feel it somewhere else, but we start showing them that it's this aspect at work that's causing them to feel this tension in their stomach. Now, the stomach, the biological meaning is to digest. Sometimes the client. We need to ask them what is it that you don't want to digest? What idea or person you feel like you just can't stand them anymore. And the body's talking to you.

Speaker 2:

Of course, each person is different, so I'm not going to generalize, I'm just giving a normal example. It's not concrete. So, basically, someone might feel it in the throat, other person might feel it in their shoulders, but the most important thing is for us to show them their own journey with them, to see what is this stressor in, in the emotional aspect that's most probably causing it. Because for you, christen, sometimes you might feel it pain in your shoulders, for me it might be in my knees, others in the stomach, and each one has a symbolic meaning, a unique symbolic meaning behind what they're feeling. And that's how we start going back and showing them what emotional atmosphere was before the illness and what entered and what new came into your life so that this recurrent brain or illness is still there yeah, nice.

Speaker 1:

So so am I right that every place in the body has a different significance, like if it was in the shoulders, it would. Is there a different significance to having? I'm not a big fan of that. Like it, there is in Chinese medicine in Chinese medicine.

Speaker 2:

It is like that yeah, and I love Louise Hay and her work and she follows the Chinese medicine. So I it's not that I don't believe in it, I'm okay with it, but I believe each person has a specific symbolic meaning behind their own pain. So it's not going to be the same reason. For instance, in the chinese medicine. They say their needs are for the ego. So if you have knee problems, it's the ego. But that's very generic. We need to go in details and see what. What does that mean with the client I'm working with? Because each person is gonna have their ego very high on certain things. It's not going to be the same thing. That's why I don't like people to just generally say okay, the shoulders are, because you're carrying too much weight on your shoulders. We need to see what weight is that?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, got it Okay. So you go a little bit specifically. So what process is it? Is it a mechanism, or is it like a feedback between you as the practitioner, and the client, or what are they? The client, yeah.

Speaker 2:

No, patients for the doctors, clients for us. I don't like using the word patient, to be honest, like people call, call them patients, but no, like yeah, they're just clients, we're. We're the same. In regards to your question, uh, we have a specific technique in the session where we use the emotions to take back the client in time. I can't ask time. Oh yeah, tell me what your childhood yeah, because the unconscious is protecting.

Speaker 2:

What we do is we actually use the emotion. So we go to the last scene or the the event before the illness manifested and we started seeing what came into their life that made them start feeling that pain. And then we go to the scene where it started and then I tell them to close their eyes, to go to that last scene. Maybe they had an argument with their manager. And then I tell them to close their eyes, to go to that last scene. Maybe they had an argument with their manager. And then we start walking through the event from the first person's point of view, not their own point of view, because I we need we need it to be factual. So what usually happens is that people tell us their own narrative so that they can have the best image for the society. Let's say you ask me a question now and I just want to impress Kristen and just show her the most beautiful image of myself and for the society. No, in that session, whenever they started talking, we stopped them and we tell them let's go back into the scene and actually see what happened.

Speaker 2:

Who started the conversation? Was it you or your manager? What did your manager tell you? Did you respond? What triggered you from your manager? Was it his own tone of voice? Was it the way he looked at you? Was it the words he said that triggered you and took you back to your dad screaming at you when you were a kid and you were criticized? So we see the factual stuff that happened during the scene. And then I repeat the the scene while they have their eyes closed so that they can feel they're in the scene, and that's when we actually touch the emotion. Are they feeling the tension, their throat, their chest or the stomach? And the emotion is going to directly take him back to something similar from their past. And then they tell me, a thought came up, and now I see myself as a five-year-old, and that's how we start going back in time to see what did their inner child need? What are they scared of? What are their core identity beliefs?

Speaker 1:

I see. So that's how it comes back to that inner child. Is that that's where we carry all our baggage? I guess?

Speaker 2:

And also the family. The family believes you took the problems that happen between your parents, the arguments, and then that's how many people have their own beliefs about women, about men, about relationships, about divorce, due to what they saw from their parents?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I mean it. Does it ever feel like it's a bottomless pit to you? Because for me it kind of feels like it's like how much deeper do you go?

Speaker 1:

it's, there's always something more to be there's always more revealed or um, uh, you know, even you know people talk about shadow work and and this idea came to me the other day it was like, yeah, but the shadow people always put it in this negative context. But we've also got so many gifts that we don't even acknowledge. What you're supporting people with is chipping away at that stuff that hides that brilliance, hides the capabilities, because you know we like to put these masks on and pretend like everything's okay. And you know I've had different kinds of situations. You know I think we all get our wake-up calls in some way. So, yes, it's always interesting, it's definitely always interesting.

Speaker 2:

And, kirsten, sorry to interrupt, no go, I think you just opened a perfect topic because the shadow work. People get scared of it. But what we do in Binary Emotion is we actually help the client to own their shadow. So let's say I was telling you about what we saw between our parents and relationships. So basically, let's say my client.

Speaker 2:

Let's say as an example, my client was a young, was a girl, a woman, and back when she was a girl, she saw that her dad was very aggressive and she decided I'm never gonna be like him. So she sees something wrong. And when she grows up, she's still shutting up to everyone taking advantage of her at work. So what we help her see is that she needs to take the aggressive side of her dad and make it assertive so that she can own her shadow and start speaking up for her own rights at work. So owning the shadow is healthy. What you were talking, which is great the ego mask that we wear. The ego keeps the shadow deep down, unconscious, when in reality, we need to own the things that we were embarrassed, we thought it was wrong, because we need to really question our beliefs and start integrating the things we don't like about other people look, you're speaking my language.

Speaker 1:

I mean, you know, I've been on a bit of a journey myself in terms of like this exploration, in terms of like what we perceive as negative.

Speaker 1:

And then so, for example, what you were saying about this aggressiveness, we immediately place that in a negative context and we're like, no, that's wrong, it's not very good. And yet there's a positive side of that aggressiveness that it's not like, don't get out there in somebody's face about it, but you're allowed to stick up for yourself, you're allowed to take charge and say, hey, these are my boundaries and you're now crossing them and I'm not gonna let you do that, you know. And so you know, when I look at lots and lots and lots of negative words, when you really delve deeply into them and you contemplate their meaning, it's like there's always like that it moves, it, it, it moves. So I and maybe, maybe I might say that that that helped me to to be okay with who I was, you know to to see, well, these negative traits, well, they're not that great, but hey, it's me and and I'm just gonna just like who I am and and just give myself grace for the, the messy bits, because on the other side there's also.

Speaker 2:

There's also good stuff too, you know, and it's just being okay with the stuff that doesn't always look perfect and shiny and exactly as carl jung used to say a like he'd rather be authentic than be good, because once we're just want to be good, and everything they've told us from a young age that it's negative. Oh, kirsten, don't set boundaries. Disrespectful Venzo, don't speak up for your rights because it's disrespectful. At the end of the day, do we want to live this short physical life being good because this is what society taught us, or should we just be authentic? And some people are not going to like our boundaries. Some people are not going to like when we say, no, well, I don't care, it's their own problem to fix how they feel about it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, agreed, and I think you kind of spoke into something. There is that we can have this tendency to think oh well, we're here for everybody, but we're actually not here for everybody. We're here for everybody, but we're actually not here for everybody. We're here for the people who we resonate with, and if people don't like it, then maybe you can speak into that, like I'm sure that there's been some. Have there been any challenges in terms of being the inner child guy? I mean, has there been any like feedback that you just go wow that why would you, you know, like, have you ever had that experience?

Speaker 2:

no, no, no fantastic.

Speaker 1:

I love it okay, great that's. That's. That's fantastic um thank you. Yeah, no, that's, that's good. Um, was it you? Somebody said, you know there's this, these judgment. And yet if we live to try and mask ourselves for everybody, we end up being unhappy, and there's still going to be people who don't like us. So we may as well.

Speaker 1:

Live our best life and there'll be people who don't agree or like or whatever, but they can have their own journey as well be people who don't agree or like or whatever, but they can have their own journey as well.

Speaker 2:

Exactly, I've always spoken about this in my workshops, in the videos I post that in a hundred years, all of us are going to be physically led and the people coming after us they don't, they're not going to know who we are or what we did. So why stop ourselves because of certain people and their opinions? Like, really we're eight billion, we're gonna stop taking action and making everything perfect just because five, six people are gonna think we're not good enough? No, as long as we make our inner child feel good enough, then none of those opinions are ever gonna matter to us anymore.

Speaker 1:

Well, I love that. So what I'm hearing and I'm going to say it because so what I'm hearing is that you're the manifestation of the work that you are doing, so you're a living, breathing example of the work that you have spoken, and so when you feel good enough, then the world has responded with yes, you are good enough, and so that's that mirror that is being shown to you.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it's when you carry yourself with love and you know who you are deep down and you've worked so much on yourself and you've forgiven yourself and you know that every mistake we've made along our way, Kirsten, is because we were bombarded and conditioned with negative beliefs about the world, about ourselves, and then we're always feeling shame and guilty. But once we transcend that, we can actually move forward, thinking that no, whatever happened and all the mistakes we did, we can be responsible for without blaming the government, without blaming society. And we can be responsible for without blaming the government, without blaming society. And we can move forward and ask ourselves how can we make this world a better place to live?

Speaker 2:

in and then once you carry yourself to go back to your question once you carry yourself with love and you carry yourself with charisma and knowing who you are deep down, then people will never step over the boundaries and the way you see yourself. But once we feel like we're not good enough and I always talk to couples in regards to this when they're in their dating phase that whenever you don't feel good enough and you go on a date, you're constantly thinking I want to be perfect, I want to impress this person. The other person is going to feel the lack of confidence and lack of self-esteem and the only goal that you had was to impress them. You end up making them run away or not not going for the second date. And once we work on that inner child and make it, make him or make her feel confident, then you don't need anyone's approval. If the date went well, good. If it didn't, it's okay. It shouldn't touch your own belief systems about yourself yeah, it's uh.

Speaker 1:

God, you could do another interview on this one yeah, this is a deep topic it is a very deep topic, um and so. So maybe I was going to ask you one of the most significant stories, or one of the most other than your own, like the most significant breakthrough that somebody has had? Like yeah, that you've worked with.

Speaker 2:

There's one that came to mind, like directly. I've had tons of clients and a lot of breakthroughs, but one really, really hit me, because this is what we call invisible loyalty. Invisible loyalty is when, as children, we were conditioned to get love and certain values from our parents when we used to do something. And there's another thing called parentification. Parentification is when we, as children, become the parents of our own parents. Usually our parents have never done any inner work. They got married thinking that the kid is gonna give them the love that they needed in the relationship.

Speaker 2:

So then, let's say, the mother starts telling the the daughter in this case that your dad is a I'm not going to use any bad words here is not a good person.

Speaker 2:

He's always doing this.

Speaker 2:

And the constant nagging telling the daughter that's six, seven years old, like this is a girl.

Speaker 2:

She doesn't have to know about your marriage. So the girl ends up being the caretaker of this mother, by listening to her, by being there for her, by taking care of her emotional and mental aspect, and then, as this girl grows up, she starts being conditioned that the only way to receive mom's attention and her love is by me taking care of her and taking care of others in the family. So, basically, the breakthrough was that after the binary emotion session, we're going through through the insights and the breakthrough was that after the binary emotion session, where going through through the insights and the breakthroughs and what she learned throughout the session was that she was being invisibly loyal to all her family, including her mom, because she was still searching for the love and the attention and approval from the person that never gave her that. Maybe it was her that and she was being the nice good girl all her life till the age of 50, until she realized that she's been living just to get that value she wanted and that's how deep it is.

Speaker 2:

I know it's tough to actually remove the ego mask and see the actual truth, but that's when she realized that she needs to sit with herself and really connect with that baby within her and make her feel loved, regardless of what she did or who she pleased outside. And this is a like. This is a breakthrough many of my clients have. But I was specific in regards to this the invisible loyalty and parentification, because sometimes we do things as adults without being conscious of and we're not happy, but we're just wanting to get.

Speaker 1:

Wanting to get that love that we always create as children yeah, it's, uh, it's interesting and uh, I'm thinking of a few people that you know.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, Of course it's going to resonate Like a lot of people are in this.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, you know, I think with you know I think we've spoken about this before is that you know I am a parent, so I know that I've. You know I've already made some mistakes and you know I know that my parents were good parents, but I do know that they didn't have access to the information that we have. You know we have. I can speak to you. You're in Lebanon.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

You're in Lebanon, I'm in Brisbane, australia, and you know. So we have this connection that we can span across the world, whereas they didn't even have, you know, that kind of. If they wanted to read something, it had to be in a, in a book. So you know, we're fortunate to have this. But do you find the older generation resistant to your, to your practice, or do you find them welcoming, or does it? Is it dependent on the type of person who is a seeker of information, or does something have to happen before they seek you out? What's, what's the trigger?

Speaker 2:

yeah, you made me smile because you're not the first person to say that that something happened, because usually people that go internally are the people that have been through something external, so let's say physical illness or something tragic in their life. So, in regards to your question, I've had clients and I still have clients over the age of 50, but they're a very minority yeah most of my clients are from 20 to 35 40 years old, above 40, 50, 60.

Speaker 2:

they're a very big minority but, to answer your question, people need to be open and vulnerable in regards to that. So, going back to older generations, I don't think that they're very open like us, because the belief systems are so ingrained that they don't believe in most of the stuff that we're doing right now are doing right now, but if something tragic happens or if they see someone in their family really healing based on what they're doing.

Speaker 2:

They might think you might. You know I might be open to researching or studying or doing a session for me to learn how did this person in the family become better?

Speaker 2:

yeah but I think, like a lot of them are still very close-minded about it because they think therapy and practitioners and healers and coaches, it's just not important to them because that's how they were like they, they were raised with all the problems happening, uh, and especially here in the middle east with the wars that were going on. They say you know what, we've been through so much, so I'm good, and they just ignore it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, well, I guess that is interesting, because I'm just reflecting on my own family situation and I'm like, oh, actually I don't think anyone else had the same. Like I feel like I had the rug pulled out from underneath me, and not just once, like quite a few times actually, and it's like, yeah, so it's, it's always like that journey to go deeper. What is the? What is, what's the meaning, whereas I'm not sure that anyone else really had that.

Speaker 2:

So, yeah, okay, and that's what they they would in, they would in binary emotion. We would call you the black sheep of the family.

Speaker 1:

Like you're, you're the same with me? I do, they don't. They call me the black sheep without the bio neuro see yes but it's a good thing.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it's a good thing, yeah yeah, it is.

Speaker 1:

It is breaking the mold and just, I think you know it makes us well. I think it makes me more understanding and more compassionate of people when they might not be on the same page or very dogged about something, because I used to be very dogged like nobody could change my mind about anything, but whereas these days I'm like, okay, let me just, let me see this from a different perspective. But, yeah, so, um, so tell me something. What if we had to leave today and you wanted to make sure that you didn't want to leave without somebody knowing this specific thing? What would it be?

Speaker 2:

That please, please, don't get or think about having children before you heal your own child. Think about having children before you heal your own inner child. This is the biggest message I'm spreading around the world, because most of the problems we're encountering all around the world I'm talking all problems, I'm not going to go into details it's because the people doing damage, the people that are hurting others, it's because they're not looking within to heal that scared, insecure, hurt, traumatized child within them. So this is my main message and I think the people that are going to listen to this podcast they're going to resonate a lot with what we spoke about, because they're going to realize that the insecurity is not being able to speak up, not being confident in their dating life or in their marriage. It's all a sign that they need to go back and really see what did this inner child within you really want?

Speaker 2:

And these are the values that I mostly speak about. Is it love? Is it being seen, being heard, acknowledged, approved of, accepted? These are big ones, and one that's not there might really affect us as adults, and one that's not there might really affect us as adults and maybe we're still seeking for that value and searching it for like getting it from our CEO, our manager, our husband, our wife, is not the easiest way, because they're going to feel the pressure and then they become distant.

Speaker 1:

So the easiest and best route and the deepest route is for us to reparent that kid within us yeah, so just being responsible for what is happening in our own lives and do the healing, do the work, do that, put the, put the, put the reps in yeah give your little child lots and lots of love. And yeah, the inner child sorry, our inner children well, this has been amazing. Thank you so much, venzo thank you um, you've been an amazingly generous uh guest, so thank you so much.

Speaker 2:

I look forward to having another conversation with you it was my absolute pleasure and I'm in for that thank you, see you.

Speaker 1:

Thank you for joining me on this episode of journey to iconic podcast. I hope you found inspiration and practical insights to help you unlock your highest potential. If you enjoyed today's episode, please subscribe, rate and leave a review to help others find us For more resources and to connect with our community. Follow Kirsten Barford on LinkedIn and other socials or visit our website at wwwkirstenbarfordcom. Remember, your journey to iconic starts with embracing your unique self and stepping into your power. Starts with embracing your unique self and stepping into your power. Until next time, keep moving forward, trust yourself and remember I've got you.